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Relationship Solutions
E-Newsletter
Table of Content
I.
Message from the Director
II.
Featured Article
III.
Upcoming Event
IV.
News
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Message from the
Director
Welcome to another
edition of Relationship Solutions!
Today was my final
shopping day for the holidays and I am
absolutely thrilled to be finished. I am
looking forward to seeing the look on
everyone’s face when they open their gifts.
I love finding that perfect gift and I put
in a lot of thought into each person I am
giving to. Needless to say it can be very
tiring. My plan now is to relax and enjoy
time with family and friends.
The holiday season can certainly be a time
of joy and an opportunity to give to others.
Too often we become overwhelmed with all the
things we think we “should” be doing and
burn ourselves out. Well, I made a
commitment this year to do less and give
more. So far the only one striking my break
is my husband. He really misses his holiday
cookies!
This month’s edition provides us with some
solid tips on how to handle the “hustle” of
the season. Implementing some of the key
steps from exercising to managing
uncomfortable relationships is one way to
beat the holiday blues. Relax and enjoy
yourself. Until next time, have a happy and
safe holiday!
Warm wishes,
Cari Sans
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Featured Article
Handling the Holiday
Hustle: Managing Stress
Aaah, the holidays are
upon us. As I type this, the sun has
finally shown its way through a dismal few
days of rain and my mood has gone from
gloomy to bright. It’s interesting how the
weather affects our moods. It is also
interesting how the mood of a home during
holiday time can alter our enjoyment of the
festivities as well. If all is cheery then
we will be cheery. However, the negative
stress of creating a “perfect” holiday can
affect others’ moods as well. And thusly
your relationships with those folks.
So, how do we manage
stress during this hectic time? I have a
few ideas.
I know I always say
this, but exercise is so important. When
you exercise, the endorphin levels are
raised and you achieve a happy feeling; and
this is actually proven to relieve stress.
Additionally, experts say that it can reduce
stress hormones such as cortisol and
actually build up a resilience to future
stressful situations.
Now, this may be
difficult during a hectic time such as the
holidays, but try to get a 20 minute walk in
nearly every day of the week. Perhaps you
have a pooch who needs to get out—like the
one who is currently attempting to type this
article along with me on my laptop. What a
perfect opportunity for both of you to get
your exercise in!
Volunteering is also a
way to reduce stress during the holidays.
It’s been proven that when you do something
nice for others, the feeling you get from
giving also raises the endorphin level; thus
reducing stress. This act might also be
able to bolster self-esteem. An added
benefit is that volunteering might cause you
to “take a step back” and recognize all that
you might have. I can tell you from
personal experience that if you volunteer at
a soup kitchen or a shelter, you can’t help
but walk away with incentive to reprioritize
your life and a better sense of yourself.
Breathe. Find a few
moments before a gathering and if need be
between courses for yourself. Holiday
get-togethers can quickly become
overwhelming whether you are the host or an
attendee. Try counting backward from 10 to
one while focusing on a peaceful place, like
a book or the beach. You could also try
yoga/pilates breathing: inhale for two
counts then slowly exhale for four counts
(Smell the flowers, blow out the candles.)
Manage expectations.
Chances are you know the personalities of
party attendees such as relatives—making you
aware of what to expect from each. Getting
a picture in your head of what might be said
from each might help you prepare your
responses. Be careful to balance this
management of expectations with becoming
overly defensive.
Reframe. If someone’s
comment rubs you the wrong way, try to find
a positive in it. For example, Uncle Joe
may be perceived as invasive on the one hand
when he asks you about your love life.
However, a reframe might be that he cares
enough about you to show interest and
inquire about you and your happiness.
Focus. Often times it
is helpful to focus on one idea or person.
For example, if you are truly dreading
attending a holiday event, you might try
focusing on catching up with your favorite
cousin who will also be attending. Focusing
on conversation with this relative might
help you look more positively on the
upcoming gathering. Or, try focusing on
your blessings that have occurred throughout
the year.
Be direct. If you find
yourself in an uncomfortable conversation,
remember to utilize “I Statements.” Here is
a template: “When you say _____, I feel
____.”
In closing, we at CCMFT
wish you and your families the happiest of
holiday wishes and a wonderful new year.
Comments or questions?
Please email
andrea@couplesandfamilies.com.
Lucky seven tips for
managing stress through the holidays:
- Exercise and
eat as healthy as possible.
- Volunteer your
time to those less fortunate.
- Breathe!
- Manage
expectations.
- Identify
positive aspects of a seemingly negative
remark.
- Focus on the
meaning of the season or conversations
with a favorite relative.
- Use your “I
Statements,” if a conversation gets a
little uncomfortable.
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Upcoming Events
Reserve your spot now for our next Anger
Management Group in NYC!
10-Week Anger Management Group
(Manhattan Office)
We are planning to start in February another Anger
Management group in the Manhattan office.
We are hoping for a few more individuals to
reserve a spot! If you are interested in this
group, please contact our Intake Coordinator
at (212) 537-9313 ext. 1 to reserve a spot
today.
Learn effective
tools for dealing with anger in your
relationships. Anger is an emotion that we
all experience when we feel vulnerable or
attacked. The group will teach you effective
ways for managing and expressing anger.
Anger is explored in the context of
relationships and tools for improving
relationships will be provided. The goals of
the 10-week program are:
• To increase awareness of anger expression
patterns
• To learn how our anger experience is
shaped by our development and what we can
learn from our family and environment
• To identify current and past situations
that fuel anger
• To identify responsibilities in the
current anger situation that resulted in
either a self or outside referral
• To develop specific ways to de-escalate
potentially violent situations
• To decrease verbal and physical
manifestations of anger, aggression, or
violence while increasing awareness and
acceptance of emotions
*Participants will receive a certificate of
completion.
(Individual sessions
available on Mondays-Saturdays Manhattan and
Rockville Centre Offices)
Contact us to register and reserve your
spot!
Fees:
$600 10 week program
*Payment plans available.
$80 initial intake
session (each participant is required to
meet with the group facilitator prior to
starting the group for 45 minutes)
**Credit Card, Cash,
and Check
accepted at this time.
$125 for individual
(one-on-one) sessions (45-minute sessions).
Payment collected at each individual
session.
Contact us today! (212)
537-9313 ext. 1
Reserve your spot today or to talk with
a therapist regarding our other services.
email:
cari@couplesandfamilies.com
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News
Reduced
Fee Program
CCMFT is
offering a new program that significantly
reduces the cost for therapy. This
program allows you to make use of our
services at a cost of $50 per session
(45-minutes). You will be working with
a second year student intern who will be
supervised by a licensed Marriage and Family
Therapist.
This
program is currently available in the
Rockville Centre, Long Island office only on
Saturdays.
Contact us today to get more information
about this amazing new program!
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The
Relationship
Solutions
newsletter
is written
with
relationships
in mind.
Our staff,
trained in
marriage and
family
therapy, are
dedicated to
helping
individuals,
couples and
families
improve
their
relationships.
Every month
you will
find
effective
tools for
building the
kind of
relationship
that works,
and feel
confident
about how to
make the
changes you
need. If you
are
struggling
with a
relationship,
maybe with
your spouse,
spouse-to-be,
your parent,
sibling or
your
children,
then contact
Counseling
Corner for
Marriage and
Family
Therapy,
P.C., and
find out how
we can help.
Get help
with
resolving
relationship
problems and
feel
empowered to
resolve
future
issues!
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Disclaimer:
Relationship Solutions was
created to provide useful
tidbits, to trigger thoughts
and provide resources. It is
not intended in any way to
be therapeutic. If you
believe you require further
assistance than is provided
here, please contact a
trained psychotherapist.
Contact Us for further
assistance and resources.
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