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Relationship Solutions
E-Newsletter
Table of Content
I.
Message from the Director
II.
Featured Article
III.
Upcoming Event
IV.
News
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Message from the
Director
Welcome to the January
2009 edition of Relationship Solutions.
Happy New Year Readers! It is great to be in
the new year and feeling the energy that
comes with new goals, resolutions and a new
focus. How many of you have vowed to begin
some resolution? Well, we are half-way into
January and I am curious how all of you are
doing. Are you finding it challenging to
stay focused or to find the time? The hustle
and bustle of the week can certainly take
our focus off of the things that we want to
do for ourselves to improve our lives.
I have been thinking more and more lately
about my own desire to have more time for
kicking back, visiting family, and catching
up with my friends more often. I have
already started making efforts to increase
these things in my life and working on ways
to allow for more time. How many of you wish
that you had more time for doing these? When
was the last time that you made a date for
lunch with your sibling, parent or and old
friend? Don’t let too much time pass by and
miss out on the time to connect in your most
important relationships.
Making your relationships a priority is my
challenge to all of you this month and
throughout the new year. The nurturing of
these relationships will not only benefit
the relationship, but will feed your own
growth. This month’s edition explores the
importance of friendships and sheds light on
how to incorporate simple steps to nurture
this type of relationship. Your friends will
appreciate your efforts!
Best wishes on your journey this month!
Warm wishes,
Cari Sans
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Featured Article
It’s resolution time
again!
It’s the beginning of
a brand new year and with it comes that
annual question, “What is your New Year’s
resolution?” Typically folks respond with
determinations to lose weight, get
physically fit and organize finances. I am
also hearing about commitments to bettering
one’s overall well-being. If the latter is
on your list, I would encourage you to
include under that umbrella a commitment to
better the relationships in your life.
Dedicated readers to
this newsletter know that when I talk about
relationships, I intend to include all
relationships that one is currently
involved. This means not only your primary
partnership, but relationships with
children, families of origin and friendships
as well.
Although I’ve penned
many pieces about relationships with
partners and family members, today I’d like
to address the friend relationship. As you
read, I encourage you to reflect on the
special friendships in your world.
According to a 2006
study documented in the American
Sociological Review, Americans are “thought
to be suffering a loss in the quality and
quantity of close friendships since at least
1985.” The study stated that, “25 percent
have no close confidants, and the average
total number of confidants per citizen has
dropped from four to two.” Further, the
fewer number of friendships has also
produced a link to psychological and
physiological regression. Interesting
stuff.
I think there is a
three-level spectrum on which we can place
friendships. There are those that rank just
above acquaintance—perhaps they are in the
very beginning stages of a relationship but
have incredible potential. Then there are
those that are in the “medium” range—they
have been in development for a bit of time
and are moving along swimmingly. And
finally there are the friendships that like
a fine wine in your cabinet, continue to get
better with age as they hang around.
The last group includes
the friends that essentially become part of
your family—and can even be included on your
family genogram. These are the people who
have stood by you through your life cycle
changes—for instance they were present at
your wedding or the birth of your child.
Maybe they have supported you through
difficult decisions such as a divorce or
placing an aging parent in a nursing home.
Or possibly they simply set you straight
when you were heading down an unhealthy
path. Needless to say, these folks play an
integral role in our lives and are an
essential part of our development as human
beings.
Good friendships, as
they say, are hard to come by—and just like
the other relationships in our lives, we
also need to tend to them periodically.
Think about what you do to maintain your
friendships and what you can do to further
invest in them. Perhaps you could make a
point of regularly checking in with that
friend, such as a weekly phone call or a
monthly activity. Maybe you could arrange
to do something that you both enjoy such as
playing cards, going fishing, or simply
sharing a meal. Another idea is to make a
point of celebrating a mutually enjoyable
annual event, such as a New Year’s Eve
gathering.
Whatever your
resolution is this year, I hope that I have
sparked an interest in further developing
the friendships in your life. Here’s to a
healthy—mentally and otherwise—2009!
Tips for maintaining
and investing in your friendships:
- Check in with your
buddy on a regular basis—a phone call,
an email, or a hand-written card.
- If you are feeling
stuck or that the relationship is
one-sided, reflect on this for a bit.
If you deem it necessary to address this
issue, let your buddy know how you
feel. Perhaps your friend didn’t
realize that they weren’t contributing
and you can move forward from there.
- Create a safe
space for your friend to be honest by
being open to hearing his/her concerns
about your contributions to the
relationship as well.
- If you choose to
address a difficult topic, remember to
utilize your “I Statements.” Here’s a
template: “When you said ____, I felt
____.”
- Lastly, show
appreciations. Just like in a
partnership, showing appreciations lets
your friend know that their
thoughtfulness and efforts are an
important part of your relationship.
Comments or questions?
Please email
andrea@couplesandfamilies.com.
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Upcoming Event
Reserve your spot now for our next Anger
Management Group in NYC!
10-Week Anger Management Group
(Manhattan Office)
We are planning to start on February 7th,
2009 our 10-Week Anger
Management group in the Manhattan office.
We have a few spots still available so call
today to reserve your spot!
If you are interested in this
group, please contact our Intake Coordinator
at (212) 537-9313 ext. 1 to reserve a spot
today.
This program is bringing amazing results
to those who participate, and participants
are amazed at how much they learn and enjoy
their experience. Come see what they
are all talking about!
Here is what to expect...
Learn effective
tools for dealing with anger in your
relationships. Anger is an emotion that we
all experience when we feel vulnerable or
attacked. The group will teach you effective
ways for managing and expressing anger.
Anger is explored in the context of
relationships and tools for improving
relationships will be provided. The goals of
the 10-week program are:
• To increase awareness of anger expression
patterns
• To learn how our anger experience is
shaped by our development and what we can
learn from our family and environment
• To identify current and past situations
that fuel anger
• To identify responsibilities in the
current anger situation that resulted in
either a self or outside referral
• To develop specific ways to de-escalate
potentially violent situations
• To decrease verbal and physical
manifestations of anger, aggression, or
violence while increasing awareness and
acceptance of emotions
*Participants will receive a certificate of
completion.
Our program has been recognized in the
courts and we work closely with other
service agencies to help smooth the process
of dealing with multiple services.
(Individual sessions
available on Mondays-Saturdays Manhattan and
Rockville Centre Offices)
Contact us to register and reserve your
spot!
Fees:
$600 10 week program
*Payment plans available.
$80 initial intake
session (each participant is required to
meet with the group facilitator prior to
starting the group for 45 minutes)
**Credit Card, Cash,
and Check
accepted at this time.
$125 for individual
(one-on-one) sessions (45-minute sessions).
Payment collected at each individual
session.
Contact us today! (212)
537-9313 ext. 1
Reserve your spot today or to talk with
a therapist regarding our other services.
email:
cari@couplesandfamilies.com
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News
Reduced
Fee Program
CCMFT is
offering a new program that significantly
reduces the cost for therapy. This
program allows you to make use of our
services at a cost of $50 per session
(45-minutes). You will be working with
a second year student intern who will be
supervised by a licensed Marriage and Family
Therapist.
This
program is currently available in the
Rockville Centre, Long Island office only on
Saturdays.
Contact us today to get more information
about this amazing new program!
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The
Relationship
Solutions
newsletter
is written
with
relationships
in mind.
Our staff,
trained in
marriage and
family
therapy, are
dedicated to
helping
individuals,
couples and
families
improve
their
relationships.
Every month
you will
find
effective
tools for
building the
kind of
relationship
that works,
and feel
confident
about how to
make the
changes you
need. If you
are
struggling
with a
relationship,
maybe with
your spouse,
spouse-to-be,
your parent,
sibling or
your
children,
then contact
Counseling
Corner for
Marriage and
Family
Therapy,
P.C., and
find out how
we can help.
Get help
with
resolving
relationship
problems and
feel
empowered to
resolve
future
issues!
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Disclaimer:
Relationship Solutions was
created to provide useful
tidbits, to trigger thoughts
and provide resources. It is
not intended in any way to
be therapeutic. If you
believe you require further
assistance than is provided
here, please contact a
trained psychotherapist.
Contact Us for further
assistance and resources.
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