March 2008 newsletter


 

Relationship Solutions E-Newsletter

 

Table of Content

I. Message from the Director

II.  Featured Article

IV. Upcoming Event

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Message from the Director

Welcome to our March edition to Relationship Solutions!  How are all of you adjusting to this time change?  I must say it has been a challenge for me.  It actually has taken most of the week to feel grounded again and not grasping for that lost hour.  On the upside, it is great to have that longer daylight in the evening leaving more time to enjoy the outdoors.  Well, I am finally settled and excited about spring.  My wheels are turning and I can’t stop thinking of all the things I want to implement into my practice and my personal life. 

Spring is a new beginning and with this in mind, we can all think of things that we want to change in our lives.  For me, I want to add more creativity and balance to my life, so for starters I have begun to take a yoga class once a week.  It is nice because it is not too much of my time but it is helping me slowly work into the practice.  Since going, it has brought me more balance and clarity.  This change is resonating in all different aspects of my life and most importantly my relationships.  Whether I am working with a client, my staff of therapists or my loved ones, I am much more grounded and able to respond thoughtfully.  What kind of changes would you like to create for yourself?

This month’s featured topic is all about creating new beginnings, the challenges to making changes and the impact on others, as well as tips on taking steps toward change.  We hope you enjoy and wish you a little spring in your jump towards creating new beginnings!

Warmly,

Cari Sans

 

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Featured Article

New Beginnings

As we continue through the month of March, a myriad of thoughts come to mind.  First is the fact that Spring is just around the corner, and that with every day of less than desirable weather we take a step closer to sticking our tootsies in the warm Summer sand. 

In fact, the Spring (or Vernal) Equinox typically takes place each year in mid-March.  This Equinox is one of two points in the year when daytime and nighttime hours are equal.  One theme often associated with the Spring Equinox is conception and pregnancy.  One example is that the Pagan goddess of dawn, fertility and new beginnings, Eostre, is believed to be associated with this time of year.

Since Spring is traditionally a time of renewal, the opportunity to start anew is present yet again.  I think that as humans, we are constantly being presented with chances to revise multiple aspects of our lives—that we have the ability to make change is one of our greatest attributes.  With the dawn of every new day we are given the chance to start a fresh tradition, or the opportunity to better care for ourselves in some way. 

However, change can be a double-edged sword, particularly when it affects other members of the family system.  Many times change causes a multitude of feelings from other members, such as shock, disbelief, or frustration.  So often when families or a system presents for treatment, they have been moving along in a particular way, with everyone playing out his or her part in the production.  Sometimes this production is unhealthy, and might lead to one member questioning the status quo or acting out of turn in some way.  Hopefully at this point, they would seek help and enter treatment.

The idea that a system might be functioning in an unhealthy way is many times a “shock to the system,” (to borrow a phrase).  It may even be insulting to some folks.  After all, the family has been operating this way for many years and nobody’s had a problem so far!  Now that so-and-so is acting out, that person must have the problem.  This is the thinking that often leads to what is called “identifying the patient. 

The challenge then becomes working together to help the remaining members recognize their roles in the unhealthy system and to make changes to better that.  This is a daunting task, as many times folks are comfortable in their roles.  Moreover, we humans generally are creatures of habit and have a particular “comfort zone” that we are familiar with. Change can be scary.

All in all, it may not be easy to begin a change, but it may be necessary for your own growth and emotional development.  Hopefully, others will follow your lead and you may all be in a healthier place at some point in the future.

So, what about your spring awakening? Is there something that you have been wanting to put in to practice, a new routine that you’d like to try out? Perhaps you’d simply like to better care for your relationship.  Whatever you choose, best of luck and enjoy your new beginning! And of course, let us know if we can help you in your journey. Be well! 

Tips to remember as you make change…

  1. Be specific about your goals.  For example, “I want to be more physically healthy” is a little broad.  Try something like, “I want to attend the Butt & Gut class at my gym 3 times per week.”
  2. Make a change that YOU want to make—making change at someone else’s request may result in a temporary arrangement, an insincere attempt, or resentment toward the requestor.
  3. Go slow and be patient with yourself as you move toward your new lifestyle—remember that you have to crawl before you can walk.
  4. Try to be sensitive with others as you work toward your change—they may have a difficult time adjusting to the “new you.” Talk with them about it—opening a dialogue will help them feel validated.
  5. Ask for help.  Sometimes we are conditioned with old habits and it can be difficult to go it alone.  Reach out to someone who will support you—your partner perhaps. Or, you can always call us.

Comments or suggestions? Email andrea@couplesandfamilies.com.

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Upcoming Event

 

10-Week Anger Group in the Manhattan Office Starting Soon!

We are close to starting our next Anger Management program in the Manhattan office.  We are hoping for a few more individuals to reserve a spot and hope to start soon.   If you are interested in this group, please contact our Intake Coordinator at (212) 537-9313 ext. 1 to reserve a spot today. 

Learn effective tools for dealing with anger in your relationships. Anger is an emotion that we all experience when we feel vulnerable or attacked. The group will teach you effective ways for managing and expressing anger. Anger is explored in the context of relationships and tools for improving relationships will be provided. The goals of the 10-week program are:
• To increase awareness of anger expression patterns
• To learn how our anger experience is shaped by our development and what we can learn from our family and environment
• To identify current and past situations that fuel anger
• To identify responsibilities in the current anger situation that resulted in either a self or outside referral
• To develop specific ways to de-escalate potentially violent situations
• To decrease verbal and physical manifestations of anger, aggression, or violence while increasing awareness and acceptance of emotions

*Participants will receive a certificate of completion.

 

Reserve your spot for one of our groups now!

A new group starting soon--register today!

Saturdays 11:00am-12:30pm; Manhattan Office

(Individual sessions available on Mondays-Saturdays Manhattan and Rockville Centre Offices)

Contact us to register and reserve your spot!

Fees:

$60 per group session (each 10 week session)

$80 initial intake session (each participant is required to meet with the group facilitator prior to starting the group for 45 minutes)

How payment is collected:

50% of group fee ($300) is collected at the initial intake session along with the initial intake fee ($80).  The remaining payment of $300 is collected at the 5th group session.  Cash or check accepted at this time.

$125 for individual (one-on-one) sessions (45-minute sessions).  Payment collected at each individual session.

Contact us today! (212) 537-9313 ext. 1
Reserve your spot today for next 2008 Anger Management Group or to talk with a therapist regarding our other services.
email: cari@couplesandfamilies.com



 

The Relationship Solutions newsletter is written with relationships in mind.  Our staff, trained in marriage and family therapy, are dedicated to helping individuals, couples and families improve their relationships. Every month you will find effective tools for building the kind of relationship that works, and feel confident about how to make the changes you need. If you are struggling with a relationship, maybe with your spouse, spouse-to-be, your parent, sibling or your children, then contact Counseling Corner for Marriage and Family Therapy, P.C., and find out how we can help. Get help with resolving relationship problems and feel empowered to resolve future issues!
Disclaimer:
Relationship Solutions was created to provide useful tidbits, to trigger thoughts and provide resources. It is not intended in any way to be therapeutic. If you believe you require further assistance than is provided here, please contact a trained psychotherapist. Contact Us for further assistance and resources.

 

 
 

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