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Relationship Solutions
E-Newsletter
Message from the
Director
Welcome to our March
edition of Relationship Solutions!
Happy spring! Yes, the
new season has finally arrived and the
temperatures will soon be warming. This is
a very exciting time of year. I find myself
energized in the spring and focused on
goals. My husband and I actually sat down
and worked on re-energizing our budget to
maximize our life. It was so great to be
able to talk again about our goals as a
family and to find creative ways to stay
focused, and most importantly, happy.
Since the spring is
often time spent cleaning out some of the
old and renewing our space, I think it is a
great time to revisit many different areas
of our lives and spring some new life into
as many parts as we can. This month’s
featured topic focuses on money and
relationships. Since we find everyone
talking about economic challenges, why not
give this area a little boost or attention.
I challenge you to not get
caught up in all the drama and become
reactive. Focus on being proactive and
implement the steps presented as a means to
take care of your finances and doing so in a
way that enhances your relationships. Don’t
let money get in the way of having a
successful relationship, let your
relationship be in control of your money.
Best wishes on your
journey to greater money and relationship
awareness!
Warmly,
Cari Sans
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Featured Article
Money, Money, Money.
Open a newspaper or
turn on any television station and you are
likely to hear the buzzwords “the economy.”
No doubt the subject is on everyone’s mind
these days as our country is certainly in a
bit of a slump.
Money is one of the top
topics that couples present with in
treatment, as it can become a tremendous
obstacle in a partnership. The subject of
many arguments, money can mask a plethora of
root issues in a relationship. More on that
in a bit.
Think of your
relationships with others for a second.
Perhaps you are a stay at home mom who used
to wear a top hat in the corporate world and
you are now exclusively dependent on your
partner’s income to run the household.
Maybe you experienced a job loss recently
and your family has to adjust its standard
of living. Or possibly you recently learned
the negative monetary effects on a
friendship due to a business deal with a
lifelong buddy that went awry.
In any case, money can
have a profound effect on all relationships
in your life. Often times money represents
a power struggle in a partnership. Take the
first example listed above. In the case of
the stay at home mom, she is completely
financially dependent on her partner. This
in and of itself can represent an imbalance
in power if not handled in a healthy
manner. Add to this example the extra
stress of a possible internal struggle with
her identity and role and you may have a
recipe for disaster.
How do we avoid or mend
a relationship that is experiencing a power
struggle? It’s fairly simple. It involves
healthy communication with a respect for one
another’s point of view and no secrets. And
as with other areas in your relationship,
trust is an imperative piece as well.
Step one: Think about
your background for a minute. Did you come
from a well-to-do family? Middle class? Were
your caretakers struggling paycheck to
paycheck to put food on the table? What were
the perceptions of money in your family of
origin? Did it mask love? Did it provide a
sense of entitlement? Security?
Understanding each
other’s perception of money and what it
represented in our families of origin is the
first step. Communicating this with your
partner and deciding how it’s going to
affect your relationship is the second.
Step Two: Talk with
each other openly and honestly to get on the
same page about what this all means. Once
you are clear, together create a budget and
be open to hear your partner’s thoughts and
concerns. Remember to utilize your “I
Statements” and your Couples/Conscious
Dialogue.
Step Three: Implement
these budgeting goals as a team.
Step Four: Check in
with each other once a month to see how
things are going. Reevaluate and make
adjustments as necessary.
Step Five: If money is
still a hot topic for you after awhile, then
consider seeking help from a therapist.
Give us a call, we would be happy to help
you!
Best of luck as you
hopefully implement these steps in to your
relationship!
Side note: From noted
financial expert and New York Times
bestselling author Dave Ramsey, following is
a caveat on money and partnership:
“Listen up,
nerds. Don't keep the finances all to
yourself. Don't use your ‘power’ to abuse
the free spirit. Free spirits, don't just
nod your head and say, ‘Yeah, that looks
great, honey.’ You have a vote in the budget
committee meetings, too. Give feedback,
criticism and encouragement. Work on the
budget together!”
Comments or
suggestions? Email
andrea@couplesandfamilies.com.
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Upcoming Events
Reserve your spot now for our two group
programs!
Marriage Prep: A Toolbox for
Today’s Couples
Our new premarital program is a culmination
of years of experience in helping folks
prepare for and maintain healthy marriages.
This 10-session program gives you the
beginner’s tools that most likely no one
ever told you about—it is a toolbox of
topics that newlyweds commonly present in
couples treatment.
Here is your chance to get a head start and
likely avoid or greatly reduce many newlywed
arguments! With our program, you and your
partner can get off to a terrific start—and
the honeymoon may not ever end!
• Identify family of origin issues that
impact your relationship
• Assess your couple traits and how these
may affect your marriage
• Learn healthy ways to build relationships
with in-laws
• Gain tools to effectively deal with
popular topics in new marriages including
communication, sex and money
• Learn how to establish healthy boundaries
in your marriage
*It is important to note that while we do
not have a religious piece to the program,
the topic is one that can be included if the
client desires.
Let us help you and your partner begin your
journey of commitment on a healthy track.
Contact us today for information about fees
and meeting locations. If you are unable to
attend group sessions, or desire a more
personalized format, we can customize the
program to weekly sessions for you and your
partner.
Fees:
$600 10 week program
*Payment plans available.
$125 initial intake
session (each couple is required to
meet with the group facilitator prior to
starting the group for 45 minutes)
**Credit Card, Cash,
and Check
accepted at this time.
$125-$135 for individual
(one-on-one) sessions (45-minute sessions).
Payment collected at each individual
session.
Contact us today! (212)
537-9313 or (516) 665-7889 ext. 1
Reserve your spot today or to talk with
a therapist regarding our other services.
email:
info@couplesandfamilies.com
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10-Week Anger Management Group
(Manhattan Office)
Learn effective
tools for dealing with anger in your
relationships. Anger is an emotion that we
all experience when we feel vulnerable or
attacked. The group will teach you effective
ways for managing and expressing anger.
Anger is explored in the context of
relationships and tools for improving
relationships will be provided. The goals of
the 10-week program are:
• To increase awareness of anger expression
patterns
• To learn how our anger experience is
shaped by our development and what we can
learn from our family and environment
• To identify current and past situations
that fuel anger
• To identify responsibilities in the
current anger situation that resulted in
either a self or outside referral
• To develop specific ways to de-escalate
potentially violent situations
• To decrease verbal and physical
manifestations of anger, aggression, or
violence while increasing awareness and
acceptance of emotions
*Participants will receive a certificate of
completion.
Saturdays
12:30pm-2:00pm;
Manhattan Office
(Individual sessions
available on Mondays-Saturdays Manhattan and
Rockville Centre Offices)
Contact us to register and reserve your
spot!
Fees:
$600 10 week program
*Payment plans available.
$80 initial intake
session (each participant is required to
meet with the group facilitator prior to
starting the group for 45 minutes)
**Credit Card, Cash,
and Check
accepted at this time.
$125-$135 for individual
(one-on-one) sessions (45-minute sessions).
Payment collected at each individual
session.
Contact us today! (212)
537-9313 or (516) 665-7889 ext. 1
Reserve your spot today or to talk with
a therapist regarding our other services.
email:
info@couplesandfamilies.com
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The
Relationship
Solutions
newsletter
is written
with
relationships
in mind.
Our staff,
trained in
marriage and
family
therapy, are
dedicated to
helping
individuals,
couples and
families
improve
their
relationships.
Every month
you will
find
effective
tools for
building the
kind of
relationship
that works,
and feel
confident
about how to
make the
changes you
need. If you
are
struggling
with a
relationship,
maybe with
your spouse,
spouse-to-be,
your parent,
sibling or
your
children,
then contact
Counseling
Corner for
Marriage and
Family
Therapy,
P.C., and
find out how
we can help.
Get help
with
resolving
relationship
problems and
feel
empowered to
resolve
future
issues!
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Disclaimer:
Relationship Solutions was
created to provide useful
tidbits, to trigger thoughts
and provide resources. It is
not intended in any way to
be therapeutic. If you
believe you require further
assistance than is provided
here, please contact a
trained psychotherapist.
Contact Us for further
assistance and resources.
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